The Harvest Moon games are about taking care of a farm and raising crops and livestock. Harvest Moon is about finding a Zen-like pleasure in routine, in accomplishing the same rote tasks and slowly building toward a larger and complex enterprise. You know: like a baby. Or tissues. Or napkins. As a parent, it is going to be your job to deal with their various excretions, so get used to rolling up your sleeves and diving right in. Viscera Cleanup Detail is a game about cleaning up a space station after a grisly alien invasion in the style of Dead Space.
It is a pretty gross game. It is also, in many ways, a reasonable facsimile of certain challenges you will be facing as the parent of a young child.
Octodad is a game about an octopus who is living as a suburban father and pretending to be a human being. He finds basic tasks like making coffee and mowing the lawn unusually difficult, because he does not have opposable thumbs or, indeed, bones.
Octodad struggles on valiantly and masks his difficulties because he loves his family. I empathize a great deal with Octodad. The Lesson: Get used to only having enough time to do one thing every day. Children need a lot of attention; they need to be fed, clothed, changed, washed and loved. As their parent, you are their entire universe, and they are taking all of their cues about what it means to be a human being on the planet Earth from you. They are watching and learning from you every single moment they are awake.
Persona 4 is a game about being a high school student in rural Japan and exploring the world inside of the television to fight shadow-demons and gain a better understanding of yourself and your friends, and also there is a bear. In Persona 4 , you wake up every morning and go to school, and then after school you are allowed to do one activity before night falls. Maybe you go to soccer practice.
Maybe you do a little martial arts training with your girlfriend. Avoid discussing money matters when you are tired, highly stressed or ill. Set up a time to talk about money concerns and focus on solutions.
Couples often may feel less connected to one another for a time. Fatigue, diverging activities and the need for mutual support contribute to this feeling. Having less time for one another and having physical and sexual affection decline significantly are typical.
Scheduling time as a couple just to talk, share feelings, express support or get away for some personal time is very important. A key strategy for working through relationship difficulties is to understand what changes are coming to your life as a result of having a child and to adapt to those changes to grow in your relationship. One important fact parents must face is that a child changes their relationships, especially marriage or couple relationships.
These relationships still can be very meaningful but usually are not the same as before a child. Thus, parents often must adjust their expectations for each other and the relationship. Also, find time each week to get out together as a couple and spend time together. Fifteen minutes a day can make a meaningful difference in your relationship. Do others feel they still are important and a priority? Evaluate and make sure that each person feels included in the family circle.
Discuss practical ways that fathers can connect with the child through play, care of the child, feeding or providing support to mom. Today nearly 70 percent of mothers with children under the age of 6 work in part- or full-time employment. This pattern has led to higher expectations of parental role sharing and questions about who puts career desires on hold when a child comes to a family. Who picks up a child from the child-care center?
Who makes arrangements to see the doctor? Who can create a more flexible schedule? Discuss who will work and why, explore options related to work and begin planning for future adjustments. Parents have individual goals, desires and needs, but family goals must come first after a child joins the family. Identify family goals and work toward them together. Want to go shopping? Too tired. Can you go bowling on Friday night?
No, we need to take the baby for pictures. New parents worry about leaving a child with someone else and so may not go out at all. Mothers at home with the child may feel isolated and cut off, wishing for an adult conversation.
Couples need to take the time to think about their future as a couple and how their social activities may change after having a child. How does each person feel about the changes? The Transition to Parenthood. New York: Dell. This book details the results of a landmark study of the transition to parenthood and how having a child affects family life.
Life is an emotional rollercoaster the first few months after having a baby. Natural stressors of parenting such as hormonal shifts, recovery from childbirth, and sheer physical exhaustion coupled with a reduced sex drive leave every parent experiencing the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between.
For new moms, breastfeeding and bonding with their baby become the priority, and women can struggle to find equal time for both spouse and baby. Dads, learning the ropes of parenthood as well, feel increased pressure to provide for and protect the family, whether financial or otherwise. These new roles can be tricky for spouses to navigate. Creating and sustaining a relationship that is rich in meaning—infused with those special rituals that bring us closer together and allow us to connect with one another—is even more important after having a baby.
Keeping the emotional connection strong not only helps to buffer the stressors of new parenthood, but also allows for greater passion and intimacy. Consider developing a morning routine of feeding, playing, and taking care of the baby together. Spend 10 minutes a day unwinding and building Love Maps , and make weekends extra special by planning a unique family outing.
Most couples think that fancy dinners, weekend getaways, and sexy lingerie make for a more romantic relationship, but research shows that these are not the key to increasing intimacy. The small, everyday interactions like holding hands, a long hug, and cuddling at the end of the day are tender moments that keep partners physically connected. Talking about what feels good, expressing appreciation, and keeping daily rituals of connection in place can be a welcome source of comfort.
Taking a soothing bubble bath together, giving a light shoulder massage at the end of a long day, and talking about sex are great ways to still feel close and intimate. Sexual desire can return after kids. Once new parents realize how important it is for the overall quality of their relationship, they can begin to discuss how to reignite the flames.
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